GREETINGS DEAR PARENTS,
OK then, let’s go ahead and “FIX THE KIDS!" This was the name of my parenting program for years, and also the name of my first book, it remains the same phone number for the program – 1-800-FIX-A-KID.
Is this name a tongue in cheek phrase or do we need to fix our children? Actually no! It's the PARENTS that need fixing, not the children, the children are just fine (excluding some problems later on in life for some of our precious ones.) Guess what, the parents mess up the kids with incorrect parenting principles and practices. Let’s study and learn so we won’t have to ‘fix’ any child!
QUESTION FROM A SUBSRIBER:
“Dr. Jones, you say never argue with a child – how do I do that?” From my book ‘Are Your Kids Driving You Nuts’ pp. 27-33. I discuss THE THREE NEVERS. One of the ‘nevers’ is never argue. Today we will discuss one phase of this problem, next newsletters the other two phases. Remember that our children do not argue to get more information from us, they have other motives!
Are there any good reasons for parents to argue? NO! Why to we do it then, so we can show them a great reasoning process or somehow they will absorb our great pearls of wisdom…Kids have many reasons to argue, you don’t have any reasons, so avoid it. Avoid the argument of WHY!
One way of avoidance is to use the sponge affect: “Tell me, tell me more, oh, and what next, oh, yes, I see, and then…..When they have exhausted themselves from all this, you then say no, and remember to avoid the whys.
Attention teenagers: NO is a complete sentence!
DAD’S CORNER:
Have fun with your children, get down and try and remember what it was like to be a child, then act that way, they’ll love you for it, and your parenting efforts will be much easier.
MOM’S CORNER:
FAMILY ALERT, FAMILY ALERT! Notice to all family members: M is for Mom, not maid!!!!!!
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
Tell your children how great they are, and tell others in their presence. Don’t dwell solely on their achievements but talk about their great characteristics, their antics, and fun and funny experiences. Talk about their words and acts of love, and of their willingness to perform chores, and do acts of charitable kindness and service These are some of the things that will help them with their self esteem and they will feel loved and worthwhile. Taking a minute and noticing and commenting on these things will carry them far into the adult world. We will talk more of positive and negative strokes later..
Love to all,
Dr. James and Lillie Jones
Are there any good reasons for parents to argue? NO! Why to we do it then, so we can show them a great reasoning process or somehow they will absorb our great pearls of wisdom…Kids have many reasons to argue, you don’t have any reasons, so avoid it. Avoid the argument of WHY!
One way of avoidance is to use the sponge affect: “Tell me, tell me more, oh, and what next, oh, yes, I see, and then…..When they have exhausted themselves from all this, you then say no, and remember to avoid the whys.
Attention teenagers: NO is a complete sentence!
DAD’S CORNER:
Have fun with your children, get down and try and remember what it was like to be a child, then act that way, they’ll love you for it, and your parenting efforts will be much easier.
MOM’S CORNER:
FAMILY ALERT, FAMILY ALERT! Notice to all family members: M is for Mom, not maid!!!!!!
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
Tell your children how great they are, and tell others in their presence. Don’t dwell solely on their achievements but talk about their great characteristics, their antics, and fun and funny experiences. Talk about their words and acts of love, and of their willingness to perform chores, and do acts of charitable kindness and service These are some of the things that will help them with their self esteem and they will feel loved and worthwhile. Taking a minute and noticing and commenting on these things will carry them far into the adult world. We will talk more of positive and negative strokes later..
Love to all,
Dr. James and Lillie Jones
