GREETINGS DEAR PARENTS,
I sincerely hope that this newsletter will be of value to you, and that at this point in your life you are learning more about parenting and loving those precious children of yours more every day! A quote that I think is very meaningful at this time is one that is very thought provoking and hopefully will stir your souls, is: "
No success can compensate for failure in the home!" - David O. McKay.Oh yes, let us feel the stirrings of guilt, but perhaps that is good in this case. Often the feelings of guilt are not productive, but in certain instances these feelings may lead us into the path of a better performance as parents.
You may have thought that I love to stick you in the heart with a piercing sword each time I attempt to write this crazy newsletter, well, yes, I am trying that! No, not really. The desire of all of us here at Familyhood is the family as a whole and thus we are as interested in your well being as we are in the well being of the many wonderful and precious children of the world. (In spite of the, shall we say, challenges we have in raising the little monsters - (oops, that just slipped out!)
DAD'S CORNER:
"THE BEST PORTION OF A GOOD MAN'S LIFE IS THE LITTLE, NAMELESS, UNREMEMBERED ACTS OF KINDNESS AND LABOR." - William Wordsworth
MOM'S CORNER:
We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
One last note on the ARGUING we have been discussing the last three Newsletters:
THE MYSTERY OF THE TEENAGER:
This Newsletter I want to discuss part of an article found in the Orange County Register, then the next Newsletter we will continue this, and also give more information on these strange but very real aliens amongst us!
This article appeared Jan. 5, 2005 in the paper and is a short article with facts and ideas from a book by Dave Walsh - "Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide To the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen" Sounds like a great book to read!
He talks about the teens and why they can't help driving their parents nuts with their moody behavior. Scientific research tells us that the teens do or don't do what they are supposed to do not just because of changes in their hormones, but, BECAUSE OF CHANGES IN THEIR BRAINS! Hallelujah!!!! A little piece of the puzzle as to why we want to send these little 'sweethearts' to the moon, or at least to another state to live with one of our least favorite relatives!
"Puberty triggers a spurt of brain-cell growth, a process of over-productive and pruning back, that by the late teens ideally produces an adult with a well wired brain."
Mr. Walsh tells us: "If I were to compare the teenage brain to an automobile, it's as if the gas pedal is to the floor and there are no brakes. That combination explains the impulsivity, the quickness to anger, the risk taking. Kids will feel very strong emotions and impulses at the very time their ability to think ahead and consider consequences is under construction."
He tells us that there are different things going on in the development of the brain at different stages of a child's development, this one is just a bit hard to watch and to 'wait out'. This growth spurt has a greater impact on the wiring of the brain than at any other time during our development. During this time we want to help them develop the skills for impulse control, planning ahead, making considered decisions, and the ability to reflect.
Well, that's a nice idea Mr. Walsh, .... wait, watch and help! The next newsletter we will go into a bit more of his ideas on how to do some of this helping. In the meantime let us try and deal with their mood swings and rash behaviors by not over reacting and yet not granting them the absolute freedoms they so desire. As Dr. Jones says, "kind, but firm."
I call the crazy teenagers sour puss apes. They walk around like apes, mumbling, and they always have a chip on their shoulder. Our little 4 year old grandson, even at his young age does a great impression of the teenager I think we'll take a picture of him and save it until he gets to be one of the 'aliens'.
May God bless you in this great and challenging work, there is nothing harder, and nothing more rewarding!
Love to all,
Dr. James and Lillie Jones
