How to Love Your Teenager

GREETINGS DEAR PARENTS,

In this newsletter we will continue the article on the teenagers brain and see if we can make a bit more sense of this interesting 'mammal'.

Remember the joys out weigh the challenges as you are working to raise a righteous, responsible, respectful posterity. The three R's-- I think I will call them "R R R children!" There are forces out there that will work toward the destruction and demoralization of our precious ones so we need to put forth a greater effort to combat these negatives.

Lillie wrote this 'receipe' some months ago and thought you might like to read it.

Recipe For Life

Take one man
Take one woman
Blend until they become sweethearts, this
will bind them together
Shake these 2 ingredients occasionally to
round of the rough sports
Marinate the two ingredients together to
obtain the best parts of the two
Add one sweet baby and many cups of love
and service
Add one more precious soul, and again, many
cups of love and service.
The above ingredients may be added in more
abundance, (the more you add the greater the
challenges, but the more marvelous and wonderful
the job of your experiences.)
Add periodic dashes of education, friends, work,
service, fun and laughter (very important), grandparents,
accomplishments and disappointments, all seasoned
in the proper amounts.
Let all of the above ingredients marinate for a long
time, be patient, the wait is worth it¡ .
For in no time at all the "DISH" will be done and
you will be able to turn out lovely, capable young
adult side dishes for many to enjoy.
Note: Some side dishes may take longer to marinate,
be very loving and patient with these dishes.

--Lillie Jones

DAD'S CORNER:
An infant is like a compuiter, the good or the bad goes in and it is never erased. We need to be careful and not let the bad and negative ideas, philosophies, examples, situations, abuses, etc. get into the little child's brain, physical being and spirit. These things never leave the little one and can cause many problems later on in life. Let's remember the old saying: An ounce of prevention.

MOM'S CORNER:
"WE FIND DELIGHT IN THE BEAUTY AND HAPPINESS OF CHILDREN THAT MAKES THE HEART TOO BIG FOR THE BODY." RALPH WALDO EMERSON

TWO CARTOONS ON ARGUING FROM ARTIMUS COLE, A GREAT CARTOONIST THAT MR. JONES USED FOR HIS BOOKS: (MR. COLE PASSED AWAY AND WE ALL MISS HIS GREAT WORK!)


THE MYSTERY OF THE TEENAGER cont.
We talked last month about the article I had read in the Orange Co. Register, this will be a continuation of this article: "Work in Progress."

We mentioned last time that Mr. Walsh suggests that we help them develop the skills for control, planning ahead, decisions, and reflections. The register asked the question to him about how we go about this process when they don't want you to be "in" their lives.

He tells us that they need connection, guidance and love during these years. Connection is a challenge because they are asking for a divorce! We cannot grant them the divorce at this time. We have to find ways to stay 'connected.' This is done by knowing what they are doing, where they are going, knowing who their teachers are, who their friends are, and by knowing who the parents of the friends are. (We found with our son who went astray for a long time as a teen that knowing the parents and connecting with them was very, very important.)

We have to maintain ways to remain as a family Mr. Welch says. These things are the things they are fighting, they don't want to be with us as a family, or even be seen with us.

They need our guidance which comes in the form of limits, consequences and accountability. (These are the very things Dr. Jones espouses in his works and teachings.) How this guidance gets delivered to the adolescent is with LOVE

The teen brain is built for power struggles so it is unwise to engage in this form of guiding them. (Dr. Jones talks of the different personalities and all children, and all people, and the power struggles and the dangers of engaging in these forms of communications and interactions.) Mr Welch tells us to enforce these limits calmly, consistently and with firmness.

Something else he tells us is not to take personally some of the words and actions that come from these interesting 'people'. Remember who you are dealing with.

We will continue this discussion in the next newsletter.

I try to remember that these 'aliens' are half child and half adult. What a difficult thing to deal with. Think back on your own adolescent years, they were hard for you weren't they? If not then you are a very rare creature indeed because the most of us had a hard time and are grateful for having come through the situation in one piece.

May the blessings of Heaven be with you!

Love,

Dr. James and Lille Jones